Communicating With Your Partner About Your Relationship

At the beginning of your relationship, everything seemed so easy. You had so much to talk about, and you both were constantly trying to learn new things about one another.

But after some time together, it feels like you've fallen into the same boring, old routine. You each go about your own days. You work, come home, and can only spend a few hours with one another. After that, you're off to bed and doing it again the next day.

You're not really sure what went wrong, if anything at all. Maybe this is just something that happens to couples that have been together for long periods.

Although it's easy to fall into a routine with your day-to-day life, it doesn't have to be this way, especially in your relationship. Let's learn how you can communicate with your partner about your relationship.

Don't Assume

When you spend a lot of time with your partner, it can be easy to assume that you know what they're thinking or feeling. You should never assume something about anyone, even if you feel like you know the person like the back of your hand. Assumptions can be a two-way street. You can't assume that you know what your partner wants and needs without speaking to them directly. But on the other hand, you also can't assume that your partner knows what you want or need without telling them directly.

If you want or need something from your partner or want answers to a specific question you have for your partner, you need to communicate with one another. This is the best way to avoid confusion and to avoid feeling like your expectations aren't being met.

Be Mindful of Your Word Choices

You've probably heard the saying from your parents or teachers when you were younger to think before you speak. This is extremely important no matter who you're having a conversation with. Your word choices, your tone, and your body language are all things that you need to be mindful of when you're in a conversation.

When it comes to word choices, especially over something you'd like to see change in your relationship, try to use words that won't make your partner defensive. This can easily be done by using "I" statements instead of "you" statements. This simple switch of words can help keep the conversation open instead of your partner feeling like they need to defend themselves.

Give One Another Your Full and Undivided Attention

Communicating with your partner is a two-way street. This involves having time to speak as well as time to listen. And listening doesn't mean nodding your head when your head is down, and your eyes are staring at your phone. Listening means giving your partner your full and undivided attention. Put away any and all distractions, lean in, and fully engage with them. Don't interrupt them when they're speaking to you. And try to avoid thinking about what you'll say next once they're done speaking. Ask clarifying questions when they're done speaking to ensure you're both on the same page.

Seek Additional Support

While it's completely possible to communicate with your partner without help, sometimes help from an outside third party is needed. And you know what? That's completely okay and even normal! Working with a therapist or life coach can help provide a safe, secure, and judgment-free space for you and your partner to speak openly on a level playing field. If you're interested in learning more about couples therapy, reach out to us today to set up a consultation.