Fighting in a Healthy Relationship: Examining Common Issues
There’s a common stigma surrounding the use of the word "fighting" with relationships. Typically, when you hear partners fight, it’s a quick assumption that there is something wrong with the relationship.
Media forms lead you to believe that happy and healthy people experience all the good things, but often leave out the bad. This false narrative has fueled fighting being a taboo topic.
The truth of the matter is, couples are going to fight. Having little fights is actually healthy for relationships as it offers a way for growth and increased connection. Here are common themes seen among fights with healthy couples.
Communication Habits
One issue that couples often have is a difference in communication styles. You can be the best of partners and have the healthiest relationship, but still have differing communication habits. When one person prefers a more direct approach, but the other one is more passive, it can lead to misunderstandings and conflict.
The key to keeping that healthy conflict is to maintain open and honest communication. Approach conversations with a judgment free attitude. Use “I” statements when expressing your feelings to avoid placing blame. More importantly, be an active listener.
Religion and Politics
Two things that don’t relate to each other, but yet are often intertwined, especially in the year 2024. Just because you’re in a solid relationship doesn't mean you won’t have differing opinions on sensitive topics like religion and politics.
It’s important to hear each other out, allow for disagreement to happen, and talk through them in a civilized fashion. At the end of the day, it is ok to hold your own beliefs and feel strongly about them, even if it isn’t in full alignment with your partner.
Stress Management
We live in a world where stress is hiding around any corner. Whether it’s work matters, finances, family responsibilities, health issues, or social dilemmas, they can all be a source of conflict.
Partners in healthy relationships understand what it means to be a supportive partner, especially in times of stress. No matter how busy your schedule is, it’s important to set aside time to discuss and work through any external pressures that may be brewing.
Finances
Finances are a touchy subject that often gets danced around when couples first start dating, but can still be a difficult topic for many reasons throughout the course of a relationship. Disclosing each of your financial backgrounds can leave you in a vulnerable state, even more so when you're not where you want to be at financially.
It can also become an argument when the financial pots become shared amongst you both. Deciding what goes where, who can use which amount, or what constitutes a necessary purchase can be hot topics. This may become more iffy if one of you makes a significant amount more.
This is where having ground rules and shared discussions about financial matters is helpful.
Intimacy and Affection
Another issue that arises in different stages of relationships that can result in argument is intimacy. Life is stressful and schedules are busy. There are many other factors that can contribute here.
When one of you feels neglected in this area, it can create a brewing issue. Oftentimes, you may not even realize this has become an issue until it's staring you in the face. Having this fight allows you to express your wants and needs and can lead to a stronger and deeper connection with your partner.
Healthy Habits
Fights are inevitable. It’s how you handle those fights that prove you have a healthy relationship. Healthy habits can include setting boundaries, being honest about your feelings, establishing clear communication, being collaborative with your partner, and minimizing any grudge holding.
Sometimes you might need a bit of outside guidance to address issues in a healthy way. Therapy is a great resource and is a phone call away. Contact us to schedule an appointment today.